Guide
Dirty Talk Examples: Lines to Borrow, Ways to Say Them
Four moods, twelve lines you can borrow, and a way to say them that still sounds like you.
Dirty talk is saying suggestive things, out loud or by text, to build desire. It lands when you ask first, keep it playful, match the other person’s pace and stop at the first sign it is not wanted. Start with a text, praise something specific about them, and borrow a line before you write your own.
How do you talk dirty without cringing?
By text or out loud, the craft is the same. Cambridge Dictionary’s entry for the idiom “talk dirty” is about saying sexual things in rude words. This guide stays at the teasing end of the scale, suggestive and playful, with nothing graphic.
Researchers have started to take the craft seriously. In a 2025 study by Jonason and colleagues, 433 heterosexual adults imagined two kinds of sexual talk. They expected other-focused talk, such as feedback, to be more enjoyable than self-focused talk, such as dominance, and arousal to be stronger in casual sex than in settled couples. Those were forecasts, not measurements from real encounters, so take them as a hint.
Know the moods
The four moods of dirty talk
- Teasing
- Hinting and holding back. You promise something without describing it, and let them wonder.
- Wanting
- Saying you are keen, in your own words. Honest and warm, with no pressure attached.
- Directing
- Taking the lead, offered as an invitation. “Want me to” works; orders do not.
- Praising
- Saying what you enjoy about them. Specific, kind and the easiest mood to start with.
Praising is close kin to the feedback in that study, and directing sits nearest to dominance. Start with praise or teasing, and keep directing for when they have shown they like where it is heading.
Lines to borrow
Twelve lines to borrow, mood by mood
Swap a word so each one sounds like you, and read it aloud once before you send it.
Teasing
“I know exactly what I’d do with Saturday night. You’ll have to wait to find out.”
“Behave yourself until we meet. I’ll know if you don’t.”
“You’ve no idea how much that last message distracted me.”
Tone: light and grinning. Promise something, describe nothing, and leave a gap for them to answer.
Wanting
“I’ve been looking forward to tonight all week.”
“I’m not going to pretend I’m not keen. Are you?”
“I’d like to see you again before the weekend’s out.”
Tone: honest and unhurried. Say what you want, then ask what they want.
Directing
“Want me to take the lead tonight?”
“Pick the time and the place, and I’ll take care of the rest.”
“Tell me to slow down and I will. Tell me to hurry up and I’ll make you wait.”
Tone: always an offer, never an order. If they hesitate, hand the choice back.
Praising
“That was exactly the right thing to say.”
“You make a plain Tuesday feel like something.”
“I like how you say what you want.”
Tone: specific beats generic. Praise what they actually said or did, so they know you were listening.
Delivery
How to say it so it lands
Tone
Say it the way you would say it out loud. Warm before clever, short before long. If a line feels like a costume, change one word until it fits.
Pace
Go up one notch at a time. Healthline’s guide to talking dirty (6 April 2021), which quotes a certified intimacy educator, points out that over text you have time to think, so draft, trim, then send.
Check in
Ask before you start, and agree which words are welcome and which are not. Check again as it builds: “Too much, or just right?” The same guide adds that you should ask afterwards how it felt for them.
Adapt
Use what they give you. If they joke, joke back. If they pick up one idea, stay with it. If they go quiet, change the subject and take it lightly.
The honest bit
If you feel silly, you are in good company
Start with a text. Nobody sees your face, and you can rewrite before you hit send. The intimacy educator in Healthline’s guide says everyone feels nervous about sex now and then, so you are not the odd one out.
Name what you like about them first. It is true, it is kind and it takes no acting. “I like how you argue about nothing” beats any script, and it shows you were paying attention. Your profile can do some of this work too: our hookup profile tips show how.
Say less if that suits you. In a 2024 interview study by Lutmer and Walker on how people communicate during sex, 78 people aged 18 to 69 mostly preferred to show pleasure without words, and some liked to talk about it only before or after. If you freeze or say something clumsy, say so, apologise and carry on.
Know when to stop
The signs to ease off
Stop when they answer in a word, change the subject, go quiet, say “not tonight” or say no in any form. Thank them, move on and do not ask again that night. A no needs no reason, and consent can be withdrawn at any time.
RAINN, a US sexual violence charity, says to respect a no even when it is quiet or indirect, and to check in as things progress. If someone ignores yours, block and report them: the safety page lists the tools. To try your lines, start with sex chat; when the chat turns into a plan, meet for sex covers arranging it.
Dirty talk, your questions answered
What is dirty talk?
Saying sexual or suggestive things, out loud or by text, to build desire. Cambridge Dictionary ties the idiom to rude words, but the term covers more, from teasing to praise to taking the lead. This guide keeps to the playful end: suggestive and never graphic.
How do I start dirty talk over text?
Ask first, then start gently. A teasing line or a specific compliment makes a good opener, and “fancy getting a bit flirtier?” is a fair question. Wait for a reply that matches yours before going further. Our sexting tips cover privacy and pictures.
What if I feel awkward?
That is normal. Start by text, praise something real about them, and borrow a line rather than inventing one. If you freeze, say so: a quick “that came out wrong” beats silence, and Healthline’s guide suggests apologising and asking if you say something unwelcome.
What if they do not respond?
Leave it. A slow or short reply is not a cue to try harder. Send nothing more that night, then change the subject to something ordinary. If they stay quiet, that is their answer. Anyone who keeps messaging you after you have gone quiet can be blocked and reported.
Where is the line with a stranger?
Keep it suggestive rather than graphic and let them set how far it goes. No pictures unless they ask, and no pressure for any. In England and Wales, cyberflashing has been a criminal offence since 31 January 2024; our sexting tips say more about the law.
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