Sexual health
Safer Sex Before You Meet: Condoms, PrEP, What to Say
Condoms done right, the other options, and what to do if the plan goes sideways.
Use a new condom every time, from start to finish, and sort protection before you meet. The NHS calls condoms the best protection against HIV and other STIs. They lower the risk rather than remove it, so add regular testing and know where to find emergency contraception, PEP and PrEP.
What protects you and what only feels safe
The Do list is the NHS’s advice on a card. The Skip list adds the traps, with sources.
Do
- Use a new condom for every act, put on before any contact and kept on to the end.
- Check the packet for a CE or UKCA mark and a use-by date that has not passed.
- Use water-based or silicone-based lubricant with latex condoms.
- Cover oral sex as well, with a condom or a dental dam, until you have been checked.
Skip
- Two condoms at once, which the NHS says can make one or both split.
- Oil-based lubricant with latex. The NHS says not to use it with latex condoms; use water-based or silicone-based.
- An expired condom, which the NHS says may not work.
- Treating a condom as total cover. The CDC, the US public health agency, says correct use lowers the risk without removing it, and skin-contact infections such as genital herpes and syphilis can still pass on.
- Counting PrEP as cover for everything. The Terrence Higgins Trust says it protects against HIV, and condoms still help with other STIs.
External condoms
How to use a condom, step by step
Condom steps in plain words, following the NHS’s advice.
Check the packet
Look for a CE or UKCA mark and check the use-by date. If you are allergic to latex, or using antifungal medicine where it will touch the condom, pick one made without latex; the packet says what it is made of.
Open it with care
Open the packet gently so nothing damages the condom inside.
Put it on before any contact
Pinch the tip to squeeze out the air and roll the condom all the way down to the base.
Choose your lubricant
With latex, use water-based or silicone-based. The CDC says oil-based products such as petroleum jelly or body lotion can weaken latex and break the condom.
Keep it on until you finish
When you have finished, hold the base as you withdraw so the condom cannot slip off.
New one every time, one at a time
Never reuse a condom, and never wear two: the NHS says that can make one or both split.
Other options
Other ways to protect yourself, and where to get them
Internal condoms
The NHS says that used correctly for vaginal sex they help protect against STIs, and most people can use them. Never use one with an external condom. England: some clinics, GP surgeries and pharmacies, at no charge.
Dental dams
The NHS names the dam beside the condom as cover for anyone having oral sex. Wales: Public Health Wales lets you order them online at no charge. Elsewhere, ask your sexual health service.
PrEP
The NHS says it helps you avoid HIV if you are at higher risk, usually as tablets taken daily or on demand, though some people have an injection every two months. The Terrence Higgins Trust lists sexual health clinics in England (at no charge), Scotland and Wales, and GUM clinics in Northern Ireland, which assess you first.
Emergency contraception
For sex without a condom, or after one splits. The NHS says to use it within 3 to 5 days, with a choice of the copper coil or the emergency pill. England: most sexual health clinics, GP surgeries and pharmacies give it at no charge, the NHS says, and pharmacies also sell the pill. Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland: ask a sexual health service or pharmacist.
Hepatitis B vaccine
In England the NHS recommends it for people at higher risk, including people who change sexual partners often. A sexual health clinic or GP surgery gives it, and the best protection takes at least 3 doses.
HPV vaccine
HPV is a virus that can cause genital warts. In England the NHS offers the vaccine at sexual health or HIV clinics to some higher-risk adults, such as men aged 45 or under who have sex with men. Ask whether you qualify.
Before you meet
What to sort before you meet
- Condoms of your own, in date. Pack a few. In England clinics, some GP surgeries and pharmacies supply them at no charge, and the NHS says they can be delivered. NHS inform says anyone in Scotland can get them at no charge, and Public Health Wales takes online orders for condoms, lubricant and dams.
- A line for raising it. NHS inform lists the topics worth covering: preventing STIs, your boundaries, what you will share online. Try “I’ll bring condoms. When were you last tested?”
- Decide before the first drink. nidirect lists awareness of how alcohol and drugs lower inhibitions among the steps that protect your sexual health. Settle the condom question while you are sober.
- If a condom splits or comes off. Stop. In England the NHS says get urgent help from a pharmacist, sexual health clinic, 111 or a GP, because you may need emergency contraception or an STI test.
- If you did not use one. The NHS says emergency contraception works within 3 to 5 days, and does better the sooner it is taken. Think HIV was a risk in the past 72 hours? The NHS wants you at a sexual health clinic or in A&E, asking for PEP, the emergency HIV medicine. Then book a check-up: our STI testing guide covers where and when.
Consent
A yes to sex is not a yes to everything
Protection is part of what you agree to. The Crown Prosecution Service, whose page covers England and Wales, says you can agree to one kind of sexual activity and not another, and take that agreement back at any moment. So a yes to sex with a condom is a yes to that and nothing more. Slipping it off, or never putting it on, without saying is not something the other person agreed to.
Nothing here is personal medical advice, so for your own case ask a sexual health clinic, a GP or your nation’s official health service: the NHS website in England, NHS inform in Scotland, nidirect in Northern Ireland or Public Health Wales. For the rest of the night, see meeting a hookup safely, the one-night stand guide and the safety page. Ready to start meeting people? Try meet for sex.
Safer sex questions, answered
How effective are condoms?
The NHS (page reviewed January 2024) says external condoms are up to 98% effective at preventing pregnancy when used correctly every time, and 82% when not. For infections it calls them the best protection against HIV and other STIs, while the CDC, the US public health agency, adds that they lower the risk without removing it.
How do I use a condom?
The steps, following NHS advice: check the date and the CE or UKCA mark, open the packet gently, squeeze the air from the tip and roll it all the way down before any contact. Use water-based or silicone-based lubricant with latex, hold the base as you withdraw, and take a new one next time.
What if the condom breaks?
Stop, take it off and put on a new one if you carry on, says the CDC. In England the NHS names a pharmacist, a sexual health clinic, 111 and a GP as places for urgent help, since emergency contraception or an STI test may be needed. After possible HIV exposure, ask about PEP within 72 hours.
What is PrEP and who can get it?
PrEP is medicine that helps you avoid HIV if you are at higher risk. Sexual health clinics provide it across the UK, at no charge on the NHS in England. Ask a clinic whether it suits you. The Terrence Higgins Trust advises an STI screen every three months while you take it.
How soon should I get emergency contraception?
As soon as you can. The NHS (page reviewed January 2024) says emergency contraception works within 3 to 5 days of unprotected sex, and does better the sooner it is taken. The US Office on Women’s Health points out that it does not protect against STIs, so think about a check-up too.